My motto in life: "when it doubt google it out". ok not really cause that would be lame, however, I do google almost everything and thats where my story begins.
It was late last August when God really began stirring in my heart that I was made for more than the scheduled and comfortable life I was living. I had gotten up early one morning for a run and was checking my email before I left the house. One of the emails was from "Invisible Children" talking about an opportunity to intern in Africa to help bring freedom and safety to the child soldiers. I have always had a huge heart for missions work in Africa so I began to research christian missions organizations (through google, of course) who do work in Africa and thats when I ran across AIM. At first, I only looked at the short term missions side of things, as I had NO intentions of ever leaving the country for more than three to four months, but than I saw The World Race page. Almost as soon as I opened it, I closed it and thats when I began my 5 month fight with the Lord. Let me tell you, if you ever chose to pick a fight with God you had better come prepare to lose because He has time on His side and will continually talk to you whether you want to listen or not.
While I was running God just kept speaking to my heart
April, I want you to go.
No, Lord. Why would you ask something so unreasonable of me? I'm willing to go for You for a few months. Isn't that enough?
April, wont you trust me? Didn't you say you would sacrifice your life for me? Please trust me. The plans I have for you are far better than anything you could imagine, but I need you to follow me.
Umm...maybe later. Right now really isn't a good time. See I am comfortable with life and have alot of things coming up. Sorry Lord. You are talking to the wrong person, however on Sunday I will tithe to a missionary if that makes you happy.
Oh yes, I in all of my stupidity, tried to compromise with the Lord when He so clearly doesn't compromise. I wish I could say I just followed Him and obeyed His calling, but I am the worst of all sinners and sometimes think my ways are better and more convenient than Gods, but He obviously is working on me.
Over the next five months these conversations continued until one day, while bored at work, I "stumbled" back onto the World Race page and began to read blogs of racers who were already on the field and thats when I just began to sob and cry. There was no denying this is exactly what God wanted from me, but even than I refused to believe it. As I was sitting at the desk crying my friend came in the office to ask me what was wrong and I began to talk to him about what God had been calling me to do. I didn't think he would understand or even worse he would tell me I was crazy because he himself was no longer a believer after being very hurt by the mormon religion. However, the words that came out of his mouth next astonished and affirmed all of my feelings and God's calling. After our hour long talk, I just began to tremble and ask God why.
Why me? I am not significant. I am broken and wounded. Don't you know my past and all of the mistakes I have made. Look at me Lord, I am covered in sins. How can you possibly use me?
It has been a month now since that conversation with God and I still am just beginning to embrace His love and forgiveness on a whole new level. He has given me such a peace I can't even explain and has began to show me His INCREDIBLE love for me. I still have my fears, doubts, and questions, but I know that God is right here beside me holding my hand lifting me up through all of it. My relationship with Him has grown so much deeper since I made the choice to abandon my life to Him and serve Him in this way.
I am so excited for this journey and everything God is going to do. I know there will be numerous lives touched, healed, restored, and set free. I can NOT wait to see what He all has planned. I am already just beginning to grasp that Him calling me has so little to do with me and so much more to do with Him. I am already seeing my non-christian friends begin to question, wander, and even get excited to follow my team and I across the world. Even now God has allowed me so many opportunities to talk so freely and openly about my faith with people who normally would be so closed off to the idea. My heart is so full of love and support from everyone who I have spoken with. There are many pieces to the puzzle that still need to fall into place including support fundraising, but I know God will provide like He always does. So for everyone who has been there with a kind word, prayer, money, or just plain curiosity, I thank you. This is not my journey, but it is our journey as I know I am NOT alone in any sort of way. I am just so thrilled that God has called me to be His hands and Feet and I will do my very best to help God change the world by showing His love and being His servant!!!
